I spent the last couple months of my pregnancy in a constant mode of anticipation. So much so, that I just couldn’t mentally reflect on what I was experiencing (which is why this post is coming months later).
If you followed along with my #reallife pregnancy reflections (here and here) you’ll know I wasn’t one of the glowy, blissed out pregnant women. I was so darn thankful that I was given the opportunity to grow our very own little human, I celebrated each milestone and every new sign that things were progressing in the healthiest directions… but I didn’t love my growing body as much as I had hoped (although I vowed to from the start), I didn’t love the complete lack of control over what said body could do, feel and consume. I didn’t love that the bump attracted unsolicited advice and opinions, and I didn’t love the new found anxiety and worry (that I now know was my first taste of motherhood).
And in response, spent my remaining days and weeks wishing our little man OUT.
Now having just celebrated two months with our ridiculously handsome, sweet, healthy little man here is what I wished I had done more of (in place of all the impatient wishing and waiting)…
- Watch every darn movie in theatres (even though they were lacklustre this summer) because theatres and babies are like oil and water.
- Move more. I walked a good distance every day, I stretched out my aches and pains daily but I didn’t stay as consistent with my sweaty exercise as I had hoped and I feel like this could have made the last weeks and days more bearable.
- Dine in darkly lit restaurants after dusk with no regard for sleep.
- Read books in quiet coffee shops.
- Have real (read: honest) conversations with my childless friends to hash out what our post-baby friendship could look and feel like.
- Have long steamy showers, and blow dry my hair until it is completely dry.
- Talk with my husband about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING except baby, and baby prep. Not to stifle the excitement or the magic, but to relish the uninterrupted time not yet consumed by diapers, feedings and sleep obsession.
- Be silly. Not that I think silliness doesn’t have a place in post- baby life, but I find it is not as easily accessible in these early days.
- Eat ALL the broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, lentils and legumes that will later haunt my breastfeeding dreams. (My holistic nutritionist is showing)
- Snug the heck out of our pups, take them on more adventures and cherish our routine as a family of 4.
- Leave the house after dark. Go anywhere, even to the mailbox…why? Because I can.
Mama’s to be, if you are reading… put down the What to Expect book and do things that fill YOU up.
Now well into my 4th trimester, the fog is lifting. I can sit on hard surfaces again, I have started moving and sweating again (although with a whole lot more distraction and creative child-minding), I can think and plan more than a day in advance, and I can (almost) successfully decode the unique sleepy/hungry/bored/gassy/pain cries of our sweet babe and respond accordingly (most of the time). These are small wins, and I’ll take ‘em.
I still have a lot to learn, a lot more of ‘me’ to resurrect and care for, and a lot of lessons to learn as a mama, a partner and a postpartum woman, but I can honestly and wholeheartedly say that all that waiting and wishing was worth it.
Introducing, our newest and greatest adventure… Hudson.